You really coming over, don't trick.
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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