Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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