I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
