no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
