You can't special order awesome
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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