there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
how drunk are you?
Several
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
