I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Text me some of your sweat
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