It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
