i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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