Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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