It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
