I'm going to jail i love you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
