Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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