'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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