: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
