If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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