I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
