I accidentally burped into my bong.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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