So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize
