3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize