And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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