names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
