Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
