Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
