The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
