I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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