is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize