Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
