i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
