so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
false alarm, still single
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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