he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
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Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
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If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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