He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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