i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
