Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize