i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Randomize
