Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I love how my cats smell like pot.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
