All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Still dying that you shit outside
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
