my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
try to milk me bitch
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
