is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
