called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize