Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
