Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Duck Duck Cougar?
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
