You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
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