I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
