OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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