My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
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