Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
