We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You are the jesus of drinking
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
