I want to stick my p in your. b.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
