oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Randomize
