he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sober January is a disaster.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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