if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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