Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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