i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Randomize
