Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
worst night to have a conscience
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
