dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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