she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
