Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Randomize
