I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
