He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
