I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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